i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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