He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
