I'm so fucking centered right now
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
