are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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