butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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