You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
