I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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