I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We left an ass print on the piano.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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