That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
zippers are such a cool invention
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
