I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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