I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
