We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
