i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
