Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
