Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Vodka?
Forever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
