ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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