I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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