Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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