i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
