just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
