i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
