new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
