I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
