dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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