Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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