Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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