miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
