I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize