I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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