Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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