absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
