Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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