And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
