there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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