So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
