You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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