Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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