I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
