I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I would ride that face into the sunset
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
