dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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