New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
