I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
