Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
