i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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