My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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