White coat. Heels.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize