Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
