bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
