question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
