No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
