If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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