well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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