Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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