his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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