how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
