Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
