Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
