I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize