I am puke
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize