I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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