where am i from again
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
