My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
