Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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