I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize