ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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