so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
