New invention idea: vibrating tampons
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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