My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
