i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
not ubering you a puppy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
