Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
