Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
